"I don't know. I don't know, okay? I was desperate!" The words rip out of him, but it's more than just anger, it is a thread of desperation, but it's longing and lonely and disconsolate and it chokes. "And I've just been so desperate for so long, I couldn't– I couldn't take the chance, Mark! I just needed... someone."

He runs both hands through his hair, lacing his fingers together at his neck, and takes in a slow, deep breath. "I'm sorry it was you... God, I'm so sorry it was you."